hajji wilkes: Know Your Partner: Education, Leisure, Holidays ...

Young man and woman walking along the beach This part of ?Know Your Partner? shares more important questions for your relationship - on education, leisure, travel and vacations, holidays and birthdays. In the last few parts of this series I explained the importance of getting to know your partner before deciding to move in together, get married or have kids. I shared questions about relationships, every day life, family background, friends, appearance, work, money and health.

Remember not to judge your partner?s answers. Use this exercise to examine your own judgment and maybe change it if it is not working for you. The point is not to find every tiny thing that does not fit perfectly into your plan for the future. This exercise is only meant to help you learn about yourself and your partner, and find out the most important things that you and/or your partner do not think you can compromise on.

Education

Were you a good student in school?
What is your highest level of formal education?
Is your education a source of pride or shame?
As a student, what were the topics you were good at?
What were your weak subjects at school? In primary school? In high school?
Do you study only when you have to or for the fun?
What is the best way for you to learn new things?
What do you think of people who do not finish high school?
What do you think of trade people?
What do you think about private schools?
What do you think about public education?
What do you think about single sex schools?
Do you take professional development courses to help you with your career or profession?
Do you think people with degrees are smarter than people without degrees? If so, in what way?
Do you think different levels of education can be a source of conflict in relationships? If so, in what way?
What was your family?s attitude towards education?
What is the level of education of each member of your family?
Did you have any conflicts with your parents about education?
What are your friends? levels of education?
How do you think a couple can resolve differences in philosophy about education?
When picking a school for your kids, what would be your highest priority?
If you had kids of your own, what would you expect their level of education to be?
What would you do if you do not agree with your child about their choice of higher education (for example, regarding whether to study or not, or regarding what to study)?
Who do you think should pay for the children?s higher education?
Do you think academic ability is inherited or that it can be changed?
How would you feel/think/do if your child was slow in their academic achievements?
Leisure
What do you do for fun?
What is your idea of a fun day?
Do you have a hobby?
When did you discover this hobby? How old were you? In what circumstances?
How much time do you dedicate to your hobby?
What are the expenses of your hobby?
Do you like sports? To watch? To participate?
Do you enjoy activities that you need to do on your own?
Do you enjoy things that you can do with your partner?
What would you do if the things you like doing for fun were not fun for your partner?
How do you spend your weekends?
Do you take one big holiday a year or several small holidays?
Are you a camping person or a hotel person?
How important it is for you to enjoy the same leisure activities as your partner?
How much money do you spend on fun/holidays/entertainment?
Do you like watching movies? At home or in the cinema?
Do any of your fun activities involve "risk taking" (e.g. extreme sport)?
Is drinking alcohol your idea of a good time?
Is gambling your idea of a good time?
Do you like entertaining?
If you entertain, what kind of a gathering would you organize?
Do you like social gathering? If so, how frequently? What size? Small gathering or lots of people?
What is your idea of a perfect gathering?
Did you ever have challenges in previous relationships on how to spend your time together? Or separate?
Do you like to dance?
Do you like reading books?
Do you like eating out? What kind of food?
Do you like to cook?
What is your favorite style of music?
Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians?
Do you go to festivals?
Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows?
Do you like to watch TV for entertainment?
If you had a night off, would you rather spend it outside or at home?
In a social gathering, are you a leader or a follower?
In a party, are you the ?life of the party" or do you prefer not to be the center of attention?
Do you initiate social gathering or prefer to be invited?
Do you attend social gathering as part of your work?
Who was responsible at your house for managing the family?s leisure time?
Were you happy with your family leisure time as a child?
If you had all the money in the world and could choose any hobby you wanted, what would it be?
Do you hang around people from work?
Do you socialize with people from the same race/religion/socioeconomic background/ethnic group?
Have you ever had an incident with your partners at a social gathering? How did you feel? Why?
Have you gone through a relationship breakup because of conflicts regarding leisure or socializing?
Travel and Accommodation
Do you like to travel?
What will you do during your annual vacation?
When you travel, do you enjoy the car ride more or the sightseeing?
Is a holiday an opportunity to relax or do as much as you can?
When on vacation, would you still be connected to your work by phone or email?
Do you go away every year for a vacation?
Do you have a favorite place for vacation?
Are you good at saving up money for a holiday?
If you did not have money for a holiday, what would you do instead?
What percentage of your yearly income do you dedicate to holiday expenses?
Do you have a passport?
Have you ever traveled overseas? If so, where did you go and what did you think?
Do prefer an organized tour or would you rather be independent?
Do you think it is wise to take kids on a holiday overseas? If so, from which age?
Do you speak another language?
On vacation, would you mainly eat out or cook at your accommodation?
How often you take short holidays?
Do you like holidays in the city, beach, mountains, or gardens?
What do you remember from family holidays as a kid?
Have you ever had a conflict with a partner over travel or vacation?
What is your idea of a decent holiday? Length? Expenses? Rest?
Holidays and Birthdays
What is your birth date?
Did you celebrate birthdays in your family?
Which holidays do you believe are important to celebrate? Why?
Do you have any traditional celebration from your culture?
How important are holidays/birthdays to you?
What do you think is appropriate to buy as a birthday gift for your partner?
How would you like to celebrate your birthday?
On your birthday, do you like being around other people or on your own?
From which age or until what age do you think it is important to have a birthday party?
How do you remember birthdays of people close to you?
How do you mention birthdays of people close to you (e.g. phone, card, email, visit, gift?)?